How not to… Blizzcon

Mike Morhaime (via Bashiok) has added an apology. Go read it. I think it’s what was needed.

It’s a shame that it took a couple of goes, and a greater shame that it was necessary at all, but he does cover all of the bases. Granted, he doesn’t say “and we’ll do our best to ensure it doesn’t happen again”, but I think we can probably take that as implicit.

No, not a “don’t take a shower, push into queues” deal like the other couple of “how not to” posts.

If you’re reading this, you’ve undoubted already read Ratshag, Vidyala, Prazdja, ze Pancake, Grimmtooth and more on the subject of the L90ETC gig and the charming video which preceded one song.

There’s a petition on which contains a comment that I thought summed it up nicely, which I’ll repeat here (emphasis mine):

Dariusz Kolaczkowski
about 18 hours ago

As a gay man, longtime metalhead, and avid Horde player, I have to say that Corpsegrinder is NOT an ambassador of the Horde I cheer for. I’ve sent a lot of tickets for this kind of language in /bg and trade chat; GM responses were overwhelmingly positive and supportive, so I felt like my concerns have been addressed even though I can’t actually verify what had been done, if anything. Is the situation in in-game chats so different from a huge promo event? After all, people pay to play the game and to attend Blizzcon; Corpsegrinder’s homophobic slurs were bleeped and there’s a profanity filter in the game’s interface, so the GMs could start responding with “turn on the filter, f****t”.

I don’t truly mind Corpsegrinder having a homophobic mindset. He’s not the only one. However, I DO mind seeing those attitudes endorsed by a representative of Blizzard; am I expected to believe that nobody in the entire company bothered to look up the un-bleeped video and find out what was actually said? I certainly hope not – the clip didn’t edit itself from a larger interview. It stands to reason that a Blizzard employee thought it would be just dandy to show a minor celeb nerdraging and using expressions that can [and hopefully do] get players tempbanned when used in game. GG, that’s some consistency right there.

Someone from the Blizzard AV team grabbed a copy of the original video, trimmed it to fit (they played an edited version) and inserted it into the programme. Someone from the Blizzard AV team added the “bleeps”. The company president was onstage for its playback.

And then as an apology, we get:

Hey guys, we read and heard all the feedback from BlizzCon this year. The Corpsegrinder bit was never intended to be taken seriously. We are sorry that we offended anyone; everything at our shows is just meant in fun. Thank you all for speaking up. We’ll definitely keep this in mind for future shows.

Our humblest apologies,

Level 90 Elite Tauren Chieftain

So very close. If you’d just gone with

Hey guys, we read and heard all the feedback from BlizzCon this year. The Corpsegrinder bit was never intended to be taken seriously. We are sorry that we offended anyone; everything at our shows is just meant in fun. Thank you all for speaking up. We’ll do our best to make sure nothing like this happens again We’ll definitely keep this in mind for future shows.

Our humblest apologies,

Level 90 Elite Tauren Chieftain

You’d probably have gone a long way to making things better. A concise apology for something which shouldn’t have happened and sincere  intent to ensure it doesn’t happen again. It doesn’t undo the mistake you made, but it acknowledges it was a mistake, and gives us hope it won’t be repeated.

“The Corpsegrinder bit was never intended to be taken seriously … everything at our shows is just meant in fun”: we think using “homo” as an insult is funny! Don’t you think it’s funny? It’s funny! Tee hee.

“We’ll definitely keep this in mind for future shows”: Pat pat. “I’ll keep it in mind” is one of the great lies — when does it not mean “never EVER going to happen”?

One more thing. If you watch the original video, there’s a *tonne* of stuff Blizzard could have clipped together for an intro without including that particular bit.

“I’ve got four accounts”
“World of Warcraft is life for me”
On priorities: “My family, and World of Warcraft.”
“When it comes to World of Warcraft I’m a pathetic nerd — but I’m not Alliance!”
“This is supposed to be an interview about Cannibal Corpse … I’ll talk about World of Warcraft all day”.

They could have edited those clips together, slapped the “…but I’m not Alliance” one at the end (if they still wanted to do the rawr, horde thing) and everything would have been ok. Sure, people would have dug up the original and perhaps a few questions would have been asked, but it would have been completely different. But they didn’t — they *chose* to include the segment they used.

Including the stuff which, if it had been said in a chat channel, would most likely have been sufficient to earn the speaker a caution from a GM at the very least.

More “how not to”…

I’ve a ranty post centred on healing in draft, but in the meantime…

How not to instance as a hunter (concise edition)

  • Aspects are tricky, and you’re quite new. Stick to Aspect of the Noob (Aspect of the Pack)
  • Definitely have problems with your misdirect
  • Be sure to let your guild know that you had the wrong aspect on in the last pull.
  • Bonus points if you’ve already done this once in a recent guild raid.

How not to tank Baradin Hold as a Death Knight

  • For Occu’thar, definitely don’t make use of AMS to counter the nasty breath attack. Those blue bars are unsightly, make them go down
  • For Argaloth,  *do* make use of AMS for the cleave (does that screw up the damage sharing? Not sure…)
  • When running between Occu’thar and Argaloth (which you might do if you have a fresh-ish 85 alt in your run) don’t bother with Unholy Presence. The raid will wait for you.
  • Just before you get to the room, switch Unholy Presence and forget what you just did. Lower GCD > threat and survivability any day
  • Definitely complain that the other tank is taunting or overthreating, even though they’re waaaay more experienced than you. I guess I lose a potential bonus point for the other tank being a guildie
  • Try not to realise the problem before most of the other group are already dead to the cleave.
  • Announce to the raid full of guildies that you have “Aspect of the Noob” switched on. Be reminded that it’s a “Presence”1.
ur plate-wearing characters
  • Make sure that the Helm from Hallow’s end only drops for your DPS casters.
  • Have your DPS caster win the helm early on
  • BONUS :Point
  1. but still very definitely Presence of the Noob []

How not to fight Nefarian as a Ret paladin

Yes, I know, who does BlackRockWingLairDepthsDescentSpire1 these days? Well, me. Us, even. With only seven guild raiders available on Monday we decided to pass on our first Firelands run in favour of the only T11 raid we hadn’t cleared on last week’s lockout. There are still plenty of upgrades in there for people (and tier tokens) after all.

Our recent player shortage left us with more melee DPS than ranged, and a shortage of healers, so I’ve been healing in every raid I attended since… March? Add to that my general impatience and the considerably shorter LFG queue times for healers, and the result is that other than running the Molten Front dailies, I’ve spent very little time in my retribution spec. Don’t get me wrong, healing has been a lot of fun, and I’m finally starting to make better use of my healing cooldowns (although I still forget HoS/HoP until it’s too late), but a chance to hit things with a big hammer?


It’d be fair to say I’m a bit rusty, but thanks to the reduced dangers of T11 post 4.2, decent raid DPS and frankly overpowered healing, all went well. Until we reached Nefarian and my realisation that, as the only melee DPS, I’d be kiting the skeletal adds.

How not to fight Nefarian as a ret paladin

  1. Make sure you’ve absolutely no idea where Hand of Reckoning is. Well, since they removed the damage component, why would you need it? Leaving it bound just increases the likelihood of hitting it with an ear.
  2. Be sure to get completely distracted by DPSing Onyxia at the start and fail to position yourself to collect the adds.
  3. Once you’ve collected the adds, be sure to run as far as possible from the healers. They love that. Healing spells have infinite range, dontchaknow?
  4. When you *do* manage to collect the adds nicely together, be sure to be both a) out of healing range (see above) and b) in front of Nefarian. If the tank can stand there, why can’t you?
  5. Run in bizarre lines to generate a nice conga line of skellies (ay-ay-ay-ay-ay-HEY!), the better to leave them scattered all over the room. Your Onyxia tank enjoys sprinting around trying desperately to collect them from underneath Nefarian in phase three.
  6. Once you’ve found Hand of Reckoning, it becomes an I-win button. Press it frequently. Under no circumstances check to see if you’ve accidentally targeted Onyxia. Eep.
  7. Rumours of paladin bubbles temporarily removing the paladin from aggro tables are just that — rumours.
  8. Righteous Fury is an unattractive thing — no-one likes an angry zealot. Be sure to not use it, especially if you’re having problems picking up the adds.
  9. Righteous Fury is a DPS boost. If you did switch it on for the adds, leave it on for phase 3. Your Nefarian tank was coasting, lazy so-and-so, he needs to work on his threat anyway.
  10. If for some reason you’re feeling kindly to your Nef tank (why??) and want to switch RF off, make sure that some combination of addons/errors/PEBKAC prevents you from doing so2. Stand still in the middle of the raid frantically clicking and reclicking on the buff in the forlorn hope that “the 14th time it’ll work, I know it”.
  11. When you finally give up on spam-clicking your buff and try a different approach, be sure to forget how to spell /cancelaura. Do this several times.
  12. Bonus points if you can spend the entirety of a heroism/bloodlust mistyping “/cancelaura Righteous Fury”3.
  13. Double bonus points if you are outrolled for the tier token by one of your pugged raiders.
And there you have it. Aren’t you proud to know me now?
  1. I can never remember the name of the damn instance []
  2. I use ElKano’s buff bars, and it wouldn’t let me right-click to remove RF? []
  3. At least I didn’t whisper it to anyone. I don’t think []