UPDATE TO THE PREFACE: Gah, I forgot I’d scheduled this. I’ve now exchanged emails with a couple of lovely people, so to be completely clear, this is more joke than an actual want ad.
PREFACE: I wrote this at the same time I wrote yesterday’s oh-noes-I-must-find-a-new-guild post, and thought I’d post it a day or two later as a follow-up. I wasn’t remotely expecting people to respond with anything other than sympathy. I also wasn’t expecting to see any activity in my current guild.
That said, this still makes me giggle so it’s getting posted anyway. And Alas might get a smile from the last point in “you will be” — I swear that wasn’t edited in.
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Wanted: raiding guild for brand-new raider.
You will be: Friendly. Tolerant of totally noob raiders. Willing to explain strategies. Interested in seeing the content and not skipping every RP event ASAP. Prepared to revisit Naxx/Ulduar/etc. Intolerant of asshats. Polite when reminding new raiders not to stand in the fire/acid/spew/pit of death. Funny in guild chat. Socially diverse. Mostly able to spell.
I will be: Inexperienced. Slightly resistant to watching a video of every encounter before I first visit it. Willing to read strategy upon strategy. Likely to get things wrong on the first attempt or two. Or three, I don’t know yet. Clad from head-to-foot in gear purchased with badgers from random HCs. (Hopefully) adequately gemmed/enchanted. Relatively poor, so not really capable of quickly regemming/re-enchanting if *not* adequately gemmed/enchanted. “Witty” in guild chat. Verbose. Likely to write about things that happen on a blog.
It’s an enticing prospect, isn’t it. I think suitable guilds (of which there must be thousands, right? Right…? Hello?) will be lined up around the block to pickup a new team member like me. Why wouldn’t they?
Hey. Why are you all looking away? Hello, I’m over here…
I can’t see this as being anything but a struggle. Judging by the blogs I’m reading, even alt runs are all doing ICC. Either that, or doing hardmodes/achievement runs in older content. Guilds which *are* recruiting are looking to fill spaces for their progression runs, wherever they are in the sequence. Very few will have the patience to bring along a noob raider.
*sigh*
I guess it’s off to the realm forums for me. *shudder*